Nielsen Time Bitches

The Nielsen ratings are out for the first week of primetime television and it's official...
America hates television

Let's examine some of the numbers, shall we?

Two and a Half Men (CBS Monday, 9pm) 28.7 Million
2 Broke Girls, alternate title "Kat Dennings' Cans" (CBS Monday, 9:30pm) 19.4 million
Hawaii Five-O (CBS Monday, 10pm) 12.2 million
Dancing with the Stars (ABC Monday, 8pm) 19 million
Fuerza del Destino (Univision Monday, 9:02pm) 4.7 million
NCIS (CBS Tuesday, 8pm) 20 million

Ok, I'm sorry. I can't continue this. Here is what happened:
The braindead, laugh track reliant masses of America flocked by the millions to watch shit like Dancing with the Stars, Survivor, NCIS, Two and a Half Men, The Big Band Theory, and the X-Factor. In the meantime, the season premiere of Community pulled a disappointing 3.9 million viewers. Fuerza del Destino aired every night and averaged 4.5 million viewers. Sabado Gigante (Ed note: Sabadoooooooo Giiiiiiigaaaaaaanteeeeeee!) managed 2.2 million viewers, that doesn't have any bearing on the points I'm trying to make, I just wanted to say Sabado Gigante as I was typing it out.

Check out the Network Top 10 while I repeatedly slam my head into the wall:
1. Two and a Half Men 28.7
2. NFL Steelers/Colts 20.4
3. NCIS 20.0
4. 2 Broke Girls (boobies) 19.4
5. Dancing with the Stars 19.0
6. NCIS: Los Angeles 16.7
7. Big Bang Theory 14.9
8. Dancing with the Stars Results Show (Really?) 14.8
9. Modern Family 14.5
10. Criminal Minds 14.1

Holy sweet fancy Moses, I'm gonna have fuel for this blog until the day I die.