Weekly Dose of Hatred

I realize it's been a very quiet week here at TBA and there is a perfectly good reason for that, several good reasons actually.
It's football season and that means if I'm not watching my beloved LSU Tigers or New Orleans Saints I'm frantically shuffling my Fantasy lineup trying to find the best arrangement of the crap I was stuck with. (Ed Note: If you play in a 16 team league, get ready to start Jason Campbell in your opener.)
Also my kid is in school now so most of my mornings are spent in a beautiful tandem nap with my 11 month old. And the third reason is, I'm lazy. Have you not been paying attention? Anyway, it's time to get back to business and what better way to do it than with a good ole dose of hatred.

Now I must admit, as epic as the WDoH has been in recent weeks, it is fairly easy to hate MTV and The 'Learning' Channel. It's like fishing with dynamite in a barrel of monkeys...I think that's right. Anyway I figured I would dig down deep this week and come up with something really worthy of hatred but not so very obvious.

Saved by the Bell is Wyld Stallions of nostalgic 90's television. People absolutely love watching Zack Morris look into the camera like a slightly less awkward Jimmy Fallon, they love seeing which tank top/zubaz pants combo AC Slater is going to wear, people love Saved by the Bell. Not me.

I hate Saved by the Bell.

Admit it, most of the love you have for this show stems from the irrational nostalgic love people have of anything from the 90's. You weren't really entertained by the preppy little blonde rich kid in the California public school carrying the 45lb cell phone. No one gave a shit about the heartwarming story of AC Slater who's father got moved around from base to base forcing him to put up a gerry curl wall around his heart when it came to making friends. Lisa Tuttle and the black phrase they wedged into her dialogue every week so that they could still operate under the illusion that she was black didn't make Saved by the Bell Must See Television. Dustin Diamond was only slightly less of a despicable human being as Samuel 'Screech' Powers than he is now. Ok so watching Kelly Kapowski and her power bangs prance around Bayside High may or may not have done some things to me in my youth, but it didn't make up for the absurdly creepy magician/waiter that preyed on the students of Bayside every week.

And it only made sense that a show about six over-privileged southern California teenagers would put out a handful of preachy episodes about timely issues.

There was the Oil Spill episode where black gold was found under the Bayside High football field and it killed the class pet duck. (Ed Note: What?)

Then there was 'No Hope with Dope' where an anti drug commercial was shot at Bayside High only to have Zack and the gang find out that the Hollywood actor that starred in it...smokes pot! *gasp*

Zack crashed Lisa's mom's car after getting drunk at a party and trying to drive it home. There was a very touching moment where everyone finally comes clean and Zack admits to driving drunk, of course it came after Saved by the Bell's signature comic hyjinx wherein they try to fix the car before Mrs' Tuttle can find out.

But the absolute best 'Very Special Saved by the Bell' and without a doubt the high point in the show's otherwise dismal run was 'Jesse's Song". I found a clip of it and let me just say I am so excited to show it. I'm so excited. I'm so scared. (See what I did there? It's called segue, NBD.)



There is a joke to be made about this clip and the scene in Showgirls where she flops around like a dolphin having a seizure while getting drilled in the pool, but I'm going to take the high road and let you come up with your own.