Why does this keep happening to me?

This was the least douchey picture I could find of Fred Durst and even then he's a rap/metal singer at the Tribeca Film Festival. Douche factor 72%


It's Friday which normally means I get to put forth staggeringly little effort and still find a way to entertain you, my faithful readers. So imagine my surprise when I sat down at the computer to find this:

"Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst is looking to front his own comedy series next. Durst has signed his first ever TV deal with CBS and CBS TV Studios. Under the pact, he has partnered with CBS TV Studios-based producers Eric and Kim Tannenbaum on a half-hour comedy project, which he will star in and produce." Deadline

I was so not prepared to have something like this happen today so bear with me while I try and find the right words.

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

I can see it now, Fall 2012... This abortion of a television program will be paired up with the new Rob Schneider project. It will of course air on Thursday and continue to beat incredible comedies like Community and Parks and Recreation into the same dirt Arrested Development was driven into. I get that this will make tons of money for CBS. I've met enough half witted, ham fisted, dullards that watch CBS to safely say that this show will be in the Nielsen top 10 list the second it airs.

The best thing about this story is that this show was probably helped into existence by John Schneider, Durst's agent and Rob Schneider's brother. I can already picture the conversation.

Schneider: So check it, I've got two red hot projects for you guys to greenlight. First idea is a show about a guy who marries into a crazy latino family. Everything is sooo loco! Second idea, now picture this...Rockstar + Kids. Epic right? Now hold onto your Frescas because I've got the perfect guys to star in these. Rob Schneider and Fred Durst. Huh? Right? Perfect I know!

CBS Execs: Hey, I recognize those names! Those people were once famous, America won't remember that they haven't been relevant since at least 2000. Sold!

In other news I just watched an episode of "Community" that was probably the single greatest episode I have ever seen of anything anywhere. They used a single die, only six sided mind you, and three pizzas to create seven different but equally brilliant stories within the same episode.

But hey, Fred Durst right?