Awards shows are the worst

I try to do everything in my power to avoid talking, thinking, or hearing about television awards shows. My favorites rarely ever get nominated, let alone win and the 2012 People's Choice Awards were no exception. Prepare to be surprised...

Favorite Network TV Comedy:
The Big Bang Theory, Glee, How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, and Two and a Half Men.

While I appreciate the inclusion of "Modern Family", the rest of the field is an atrocious mix of kids singing A Capella, smarmy douches, and laugh tracks. Don't even get me started on the fact that "How I Met Your Mother" beat out everyone else. Those idiot kids have been sitting there listening to Bob Saget tell a story for seven seasons now.

Favorite TV Comedy Actor:
Alec Baldwin, Chris Colfer, Cory Monteith, Jim Parsons, and Neil Patrick Harris.

I had to look up the two kids from "Glee" to find out who the hell they were. Who are these 'people' choosing these awards and have any of them ever heard of Nick Offerman? Holy crap people, this category should read Nick Offerman, Nick Offerman, Nick Offerman, Alec Baldwin, and Donald Glover. Oh and NPH picked up the win here.

Favorite TV Comedy Actress:
Courtney Cox, Jane Lynch, Kaley Cuoco, Lea Michele, and Tina Fey.

Once again, no mention of "Parks and Recreation" or the amazing work that Alison Brie did on a little show called "Community", coming back this spring. I don't know what upsets me more, Courtney Cox getting a nomination for "Cougar Town" or Tina Fey getting snubbed in favor of Lea Michele.

Favorite Cable TV Comedy:
Hot in Cleveland, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, And some others

The rest of the field is completely irrelevant. The big story here is that somehow "Hot in Cleveland" beat out "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" for best cable tv comedy. I have no words.

I couldn't agree more Ron.

Omissions and Corrections

So in all of the excitement of "Community" returning to television I neglected to mention some of the more unfortunate things about 2012. Check it:

• Entertainment Weekly released the list of the most watched shows of 2011 and the results are sure to blow you away. The most watched show of 2011 with 21.4 million viewers was "NCIS". Second most watched, NFL on Sunday night with 19.9 mil, then "Two and a Half Men" with 18.9 mil. In case you were wondering, "Community" ended up with 4.18 million and just to ensure that I continue cutting myself through 2012 "Cops" registered 4.19 million viewers. Really? More people watched "Cops" than "Community"? I hate people.
• "Harry's Law", which is unfortunately not a "Night Court" spin off (Ed Note: Sad Face), was more popular than "Parks and Recreation". "Parks and Recreation", which has more funny people than the last 10 seasons of "Saturday Night Live", was less popular than a show about a woman named Harry.
• A cartoon version of "Napoleon Dynamite" is now a thing thanks to the wonderful assholes at Fox. "Sweet!" said that one guy who still thinks it's 2004. All of the original characters will be returning to voice their cartoon counterparts which is probably nice for Jon Heder, he finally has something to do between the his lunch shift and his dinner shift at Golden Corral. 

So maybe the apocalypse isn't coming this year. Or maybe it's already come and hell is having to watch shit like "Rob!" and "2 Broke Girls".

OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!ONE111

Ok people, this is not a drill. I repeat, this is NOT a drill.

"Community" is in fact returning to television. NBC has reported that 12 new episodes will air this spring. They also finally admitted that maybe the show needs a new time slot.

So the day Blog Name TBA returns from its holiday hiatus is the same day that NBC announces that "Community" will once again return to the airwaves... Coincidence?

Also as if the return of Abed, Troy, and Annie wasn't enough, here's some other awesome news that should restore your faith in humanity one news item at a time:

- Megan Mullally has gone on record as saying that she will be participating in the "Party Down" movie, going as far as to say that John Enbom is writing it now and that the entire cast will be in it.

- There will be no Glee spin-off once the current set of characters graduates. I think I speak for all of humanity when I say 'F yes'

- NBC has also decided to move "Whitney" to its own little island on Wednesday nights along with its new soon to be cancelled sitcom "Are you there God? Its me Chelsea". Let's see how well it does without its "Office" lead in.

- "Parks and Recreation" is going to not only give a recurring role to Louis CK this season but Paul Rudd as well. As if that ensemble cast needed anymore help.


Seriously folks, I could not be more excited about the upcoming year which should be a clear indicator that the Mayans were right and the end of the world is upon us. As long as I get all 12 new episodes of "Community" the world can do whatever the hell it damn well pleases.

Anyone up for a road trip?

I've never really appreciated the flash mob as a thing. I've always seen it as far more annoying than anything else especially now that old people have joined in on the 'fun'. But there comes a time when a man has to set aside his own personal beliefs and support something greater than himself...

According to a post on Craigslist a group of "Community" fans are planning a flash mob in Rockefeller Center this Thursday at 1pm. They are asking that people bring their own tiny Christmas tree and sing along to 'O Christmas Tree' with them.

I suppose I could dig deeper into this story and maybe figure out how this flash mob ties into their support for "Community" but they had me at "Community". Also its the holidays and I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I'm a fairly lazy blogger. I do hope that at some point in the night everyone yells 'Pop Pop' in unison.

So if you're planning to be in New York on Thursday could you maybe take some pictures of this flash mob and interview a couple of people, maybe send me the transcript...that'd be really cool. Also, could you get me a bagel?

I regret nothing

After every major breakup, no matter what the circumstances were, there was always that time when you would sit down and cry while reading old love letters and looking at photos of the two of you... Yea I never did that shit either.






I miss you...

Friday Laziness

Oh Charlie... You'll never leave me, right?

I know, I've used this image before. Anyone got a problem with that?



This video starts out slow but hang in there....it's worth it.


Enjoy your weekend!

Farewell Annie's Boobs

"But that's not what she was wearing in the Christmas episode," said the guy totally missing the point


It is with a heavy heart I write this post one day after my beloved "Community" has gone into hibernation. Last night's episode was absolutely incredible. It had everything I could ever ask for:

Alison Brie in a low cut Santa suit singing
Troy and Abed making a rap video
Excellent writing that remained Meta until the very end
Did I mention Alison Brie?

One of the best things about "Community" is that the writers are smart enough to find a way to weave special episodes like last year's claymation Christmas episode into the normal progression of the show. So often when a sitcom does a 'special' episode it never gets mentioned again. But what Dan Harmon and the other writers did with the zombie Halloween episode and the clip show episode...Pure genius.

I could sit here and talk about "Community" for days and looking back at my posting history...I sort of already have, but this may not be goodbye for our friends at Greendale. NBC has yet to cancel the show, it just hasn't been given a spot in the new lineup. "Whitney" has a spot but whatever. So I'm not going to pen a teary farewell speech about how much I'm going to miss everyone or how Joel McHale Alison Brie will be the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about before I fall asleep. I'm simply going to say:

Tough Conversation Time

Me: Hey "Community". Thanks for coming over.

Community: Sure, no problem. What's up?

M: (sighs) I think it's time we had a little talk. Have a seat.

C: (laughs uncomfortably) You aren't breaking up with me, are you?

M: No, no. Nothing like that. It's just that...you're getting on in years and I think we should talk about what's going to happen to me after you're gone.

C: WHAT? What are you talking about? Critics LOVE me! Did you see the cover of TV Guide? I won an award. A fan based award.

M: Listen, I love you. I always will, it's just that after "Arrested Development" I swore I'd be prepared. I just...

(door slowly opens and "Happy Endings" peeks in)

Happy Endings: Everyone ok in here?

C: Who the shit is this? Is this who you're replacing me with???

M: No one is replacing anyone. Dammit, you might as well come in now. (Happy Endings enters and sits down) Community this is Happy Endings. Before you freak out, we're just friends. It's just that Happy Endings is so well written, the characters mesh fantastically well together, there's no laugh track, and I'm sorry but Casey Wilson is super hot.

C: (chokes up) I remember when you used to say those things about me. Do you even remember Alison Brie??

M: Look, you're still my number one. I love you. I just need to be prepared. Last time this happened I wasn't ready for it and ended up in bed with a bunch of "Dharma and Greg" reruns. My heart still belongs to you.

H: I'm on Wednesday nights.

C: Shut up! Did anyone even talk to you? This is between he and I.

M: Look, I just want us all to be friends so why don't we sit back, relax, have some drinks and watch "Justified".

C & H: WATCH WHAT????

The Internets Love Community

BOOM! What now CBS??? Check this shit out:

"Community", yes that's right "Community" won a fan based award. Over 300k people went to TV Guide's Facebook and voted and look who came out on top. Yea! Where's your Jon Cryer now??

What's that you say? He's still making a bajillion dollars an episode and living in a four story mansion made entirely of melted down Emmys...

So you're saying this award means next to nothing and "Community" will still probably get cancelled because the antiquated relic that is the Nielsen System still hasn't been updated to take into account people watching TV online? Great. Excuse me while I put my fist through plate glass.

Reason 6,235,831 Why I love Community

If you can, look out the window behind Alison Brie.



Three seasons. It took Dan Harmon and the writers of "Community" three seasons to create this incredible payoff. Once in each season someone in the study group has said the name Beetlejuice. During this year's Halloween episode Annie continued the trend and said the name for the third time and look what came walking down the hall. Mother-effing Beetlejuice. Are you kidding me? Brilliant.

The millions and millions of "Two and a Half Men" fans, when reached for comment, probably said:

"Ummm, whurr are all the claps? How'm I apposed ta know when this is funnee?"

See, that's the thing. Little things like this aren't supposed to be funny, it's just like when Abed delivered a baby in the background of an entire episode. "Community", because of things like this, is showing how smart it is. Dan Harmon and the other writers are obviously not content just dumping a pile of one-liners and canned laughter into a 30 minute window. They reward faithful viewers with little easter eggs like this and even though NBC has decided to put them on the back burner, they continue to do it.

It's a freaking breath of fresh air in a world where "2 Broke Girls" and reruns of "Yes, Dear" reign supreme and so help me if it gets taken off the air...

I'll post a bunch of pictures and bitch about it not being around, I'm not what you might call 'motivated'.

Weekly Dose of Hatred

This hatred has been a long time coming and I have to thank Fiat for making it possible. Before they decided that a horrible, ill tempered, hispanic woman who's only real claim to fame is an ass only slightly smaller than her ego would make a fantastic spokesperson for an Italian car that hasn't been mentioned outside of crossword puzzles in years, I was content to never even think about the subject of this week's hatred. (That popping sound you hear is the head of every English teacher I've ever had after reading that sentence.)

I hate Jennifer Lopez.

I cannot, for the life of me, recall enjoying anything with this spoiled overwhelmingly untalented crapstain of a woman in it. Once in college I dated a girl who forced me to watch "Maid in Manhattan". Her argument was that it was an 'awesome movie' and I was 'going to love it.' It was not and I did not.

"Gigli". If you enjoyed that movie I want you to turn off your computer. You have no only lost all TBA privileges but you are also no longer allowed on the internet. I have spoken to Al Gore and the rest of the people that run the internet and we all feel the same way. If you liked "Gigli", you are hereby banned from the world wide web.

Completely oblivious to her own shortcomings as an actress, recording 'artist', and human being Jennifer Lopez has a long history of ridiculous demands and despicable behavior:

The Shitty Tipper Database has a full list of entries about how poorly this multi millionaire treats people in the service industry, leaving 2 dollars on a 752 dollar check, 3 dollars on a 732 dollar check, 25 cents on a 625 dollar check and left nothing twice, on tabs of 387 and 245 dollars.

One of my favorite websites What Would Tyler Durden Do came across a portion of a rider Jennifer Lopez demands at any of her appearances.

And the latest from a woman so horrible that even Marc Anthony refused to keep her around as his beard:

"While Lopez (would) have consumers believe she returned to the gritty streets of her hometown, she actually never set foot in the Bronx during the filming of the Fiat spots.
Instead, the role of “Jenny from the Block” was played by a body double.
While the Lopez lookalike was actually behind the wheel in the Bronx, Lopez herself was in Los Angeles, where she was filmed inside a Fiat 500.
The shots of the actress were artfully merged to make it appear that she was tooling around New York City’s poorest borough." The Smoking Gun

And by far the worst thing she's done is to become a judge on "American Idol", which along with "The Big Bang Theory" is destroying my beloved "Community". See what I did there? It all comes back to "Community".

That's talent.

The most important thing ever

I don't think I have to re-explain my obsession infatuation innocent interest in Alison Brie. I found this video of a bit she did while appearing on Jimmy Fallon where she answers Twitter questions. At least that's what the caption under the video says, you can't really expect me to pay attention to anything when Annie's boobs are around.

Oh hai there Community!

So I had about 10 people send me the link to this video made by a Youtube visionary named EvilAbed. It gets a little hectic and chaotic but totally worth your time if you enjoy "Community" and with the excess of "Community" news I post here you'd kinda have to be.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, this was a brilliant episode of "Community". Probably one of the best ever. And in other news...

Pizza, pizza in my tummy. Me so hungee, me so hungee.

Thank you and good night.

Friday Laziness

Mila will make it all better...


Ok, let's try and forget about that last post and just get to the business of being lazy on Friday.

Cheststache is the new awesome

I realize this last one is technically a video and not a picture which is actually quite a bit more work for me. But you guys work hard, you deserve it.


Enjoy your weekend!

Why does this keep happening to me?

This was the least douchey picture I could find of Fred Durst and even then he's a rap/metal singer at the Tribeca Film Festival. Douche factor 72%


It's Friday which normally means I get to put forth staggeringly little effort and still find a way to entertain you, my faithful readers. So imagine my surprise when I sat down at the computer to find this:

"Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst is looking to front his own comedy series next. Durst has signed his first ever TV deal with CBS and CBS TV Studios. Under the pact, he has partnered with CBS TV Studios-based producers Eric and Kim Tannenbaum on a half-hour comedy project, which he will star in and produce." Deadline

I was so not prepared to have something like this happen today so bear with me while I try and find the right words.

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

I can see it now, Fall 2012... This abortion of a television program will be paired up with the new Rob Schneider project. It will of course air on Thursday and continue to beat incredible comedies like Community and Parks and Recreation into the same dirt Arrested Development was driven into. I get that this will make tons of money for CBS. I've met enough half witted, ham fisted, dullards that watch CBS to safely say that this show will be in the Nielsen top 10 list the second it airs.

The best thing about this story is that this show was probably helped into existence by John Schneider, Durst's agent and Rob Schneider's brother. I can already picture the conversation.

Schneider: So check it, I've got two red hot projects for you guys to greenlight. First idea is a show about a guy who marries into a crazy latino family. Everything is sooo loco! Second idea, now picture this...Rockstar + Kids. Epic right? Now hold onto your Frescas because I've got the perfect guys to star in these. Rob Schneider and Fred Durst. Huh? Right? Perfect I know!

CBS Execs: Hey, I recognize those names! Those people were once famous, America won't remember that they haven't been relevant since at least 2000. Sold!

In other news I just watched an episode of "Community" that was probably the single greatest episode I have ever seen of anything anywhere. They used a single die, only six sided mind you, and three pizzas to create seven different but equally brilliant stories within the same episode.

But hey, Fred Durst right?

Yet another Community post

Oh hai Annie!


So I recently picked up Season two of "Community" from Netflix and realized that I had missed one of the episodes when the season first premiered. After watching 'Critical Film Studies' I was absolutely blown away. I think it's safe to say that it has officially replaced the Dungeons and Dragons episode as my favorite. Granted it isn't as action packed as the three painball episodes, it doesn't have the same elements of humor that most every other episode has, but what it lacks in all of that it makes up for by being a really well written story.

Now most of you would assume that I am probably most like Jeff Winger being that I am incredibly handsome, I could charm the pants off of a horse being led to water (Idioms!), and I seem to have chemistry with everyone I meet, but you would be wrong. I actually relate more to Abed.

The episode starts out with Jeff meeting Abed in a really swanky restaurant for dinner on Abed's birthday. Abed is completely out of character in that he is charming, personable, and actually expresses emotions. It's an Abed we never see and it actually quite jarring to both the audience and Jeff. During the dinner Jeff and Abed have Abed's first actual conversation and Jeff reveals some very disturbing things about himself, yet another reason why I love this episode... In the beginning Jeff was portrayed as this egotistical perfectionist leading man character but in 'Critical Film Studies' we actually see past all of the cool to the mess of a human being inside. Anyway, somewhere along the line Jeff realizes that Abed isn't trying to break free of the pop culture obsessed robot that he has been since day one, he's simply doing an homage to "My Dinner with Andre". Then later in the episode we get a real glimpse into the reason why Abed chose to pay tribute to that particular movie. The movie itself is about a man who has an unexpectedly pleasant evening with a friend he has been avoiding for quite some time. Abed felt that because everyone around him was growing and changing, a feat he was incapable of doing, that he was going to lose his friends. It's an incredibly touching moment between the two characters without being heavy handed.

Of course there are still some of the same elements in the episode that make Community a fantastic show; Troy being ridiculous, Annie being adorable, Pierce being insensitive, Shirley being cloyingly sweet, and no one liking Britta, but the focal point of the episode is the relationship between Jeff and Abed.

I realize this entire post has been lacking in the hatred/humor you've come to expect from me so here is an animated gif of Troy crying which has got to be one of the funniest things on Community when it happens. Enjoy!

Tomorrow...its only a day awaaaaaaay

So I'm a little cheerier today than normal, NBD right? It's only because tomorrow is the season premiere of Community. I don't know if I've mentioned it before but I really like Community. So to celebrate Community Eve I am going to pull something from my Lazy Blogging 101 textbook and put a bunch of videos up for you to peruse.

Our videos today come from the brilliant mind of DJ Steve Porter. I cannot imagine the creativity it takes to come up with these remixes. All I do is find pictures on the internet, type out dick jokes, and rant about crappy television.








I know I've posted this before but it deserves another feature.


I realize I come across bitter and pissed off most of the time on this site and there is a good reason for that. I am bitter and pissed off. But DJ Steve Porter and these videos makes me smile a little and I'm not sure how I feel about that...

Oh yea, also worth mentioning. A brilliant little show called Parks and Recreation premieres tonight as well. Sorry Miss Knope, Troy and Abed always get top billing around here.

E Pluribus Anus

I realize that some of my readers may not appreciate the television genius that is NBC's Community and that's ok. It doesn't mean I'm going to stop talking about Community or stop posting things about the show. For instance the following Community mash-up by DJ Steve Porter is nothing short of brilliant.
I think people don't take enough time to appreciate the other cast members of the show. The main seven are so phenomenally good together that people often forget about the power of a Starburns or a Magnitude (pop pop).

But my personal favorite would have to be Dean Pelton. From his obvious crush on Jeff to the fact that he always seems to find the skimpiest most inappropriate costumes to wear into the library, the Dean is absolutely perfect in his role.

So without further ado, here is the video I promised...full of Deany goodness.

Zip Zop Zooey and enjoy your weekend.

New Community

Don't even pretend you care what I have to say about this clip. It's from the new season of Community and it has John Goodman in it. Go ahead just watch, I'll wait.


Ok, let me just say that I had to hunt all over NBCs website for this clip. I knew it was there because I saw it over at Warming Glow and felt it was my duty (Ed Note: Hehehehe 'duty') to bring it to my tens of followers. But when I went to the NBC website to get the embed code I was horrified to find a bunch of America's Got Talent clips taking up all of the page. And it isn't just that, NBC refuses to move Community from its 8/7 CST time slot. It's like network executives have no idea of what makes a quality television show and America would rather watch Physics joke, Comic Book reference, laugh track, laugh track, credits than become immersed in a show so detail oriented that it actually rewards its more faithful viewers with all sorts of hidden goodies.

Yea, what if the world was actually like that?

Stay Tuned to CBS for the new Three's Company, starring the fat kid from Two and a Half Men, Megan Fox, and Heidi Montag.

A little dose of fanboy love

I don't want anyone to get the idea that this blog is all about hate. It isn't. That's just one of its many wonderful qualities.

According to a few very reputable TV news sites, including one of my favorites Warming Glow the next season of NBCs Community will include multi story arcs featuring Omar from HBOs The Wire, which as far as I'm concerned is one of the only cop dramas to do it well and everyone's favorite gun wielding converted Jewish bowler John Goodman.

*excited fanboy squeal*

Normally the only time a show floods its already established cast of characters with easily recognizable names is when things have begun to go downhill.
'Next, an all new The Simpsons featuring...Rush Limbaugh!' Ugh.
But the people that brought us the Goodfellas episode, the Dungeons and Dragons episode, and not one but two epic paintball episodes will only hit this out of the ballpark. Besides Betty White's guest starring role as the Anthro professor was really well done.

I should probably take a step back here because if I'm not careful this can easily turn into a blog all about Community then it's just a short drive to becoming an Alison Brie fansite and that is clearly in violation of the terms of the restraining order.