I heart Coach Taylor

2006 Dillon Panthers > 2010 East Dillon Lions

People have been trying to get me to watch "Friday Night Lights" for a while now and for some reason I never got around to checking it out. I think it might have something to do with the fact that it jumped over to that special DirectTv channel that only airs reruns of "The Wire" and Earth, Wind, and Fire concerts.

So this Christmas I received season 1 of "Friday Night Lights" from my wonderful and caring sister and I spent the entire rest of my vacation sitting in front of Netflix streaming the crap out of the rest of the series, it was that good.

"Friday Night Lights" is fantastic for so many reasons. The show obviously features football but manages to work it into the plot in a very organic way, not wedging it awkwardly into the story (See, "The League"). The characters, at least to me, are extremely real people. We all know people like these kids, we went to high school with these kids. The connections between the characters feel so real and genuine that you actually lose sight of the fact that it's a television show. And last but not least Kyle Chandler Taylor Kitsch Adrianne Palicki makes me want to write sappy emo love songs.

Unfortunately like everything else I love and cherish, "Friday Night Lights" ended after only five seasons but all five seasons are available for instant streaming on Netflix and absolutely worth checking out.

Tough Conversation Time

Me: Hey "Community". Thanks for coming over.

Community: Sure, no problem. What's up?

M: (sighs) I think it's time we had a little talk. Have a seat.

C: (laughs uncomfortably) You aren't breaking up with me, are you?

M: No, no. Nothing like that. It's just that...you're getting on in years and I think we should talk about what's going to happen to me after you're gone.

C: WHAT? What are you talking about? Critics LOVE me! Did you see the cover of TV Guide? I won an award. A fan based award.

M: Listen, I love you. I always will, it's just that after "Arrested Development" I swore I'd be prepared. I just...

(door slowly opens and "Happy Endings" peeks in)

Happy Endings: Everyone ok in here?

C: Who the shit is this? Is this who you're replacing me with???

M: No one is replacing anyone. Dammit, you might as well come in now. (Happy Endings enters and sits down) Community this is Happy Endings. Before you freak out, we're just friends. It's just that Happy Endings is so well written, the characters mesh fantastically well together, there's no laugh track, and I'm sorry but Casey Wilson is super hot.

C: (chokes up) I remember when you used to say those things about me. Do you even remember Alison Brie??

M: Look, you're still my number one. I love you. I just need to be prepared. Last time this happened I wasn't ready for it and ended up in bed with a bunch of "Dharma and Greg" reruns. My heart still belongs to you.

H: I'm on Wednesday nights.

C: Shut up! Did anyone even talk to you? This is between he and I.

M: Look, I just want us all to be friends so why don't we sit back, relax, have some drinks and watch "Justified".

C & H: WATCH WHAT????

This week in TV news

Netflix signs up for 4 years of streaming CW shows - Starting October 15th Netflix customers will be able to stream such CW powerhouses as "Ringer", "Hart of Dixie", "The Vampire Diaries", and "Gossip Girl". Starting October 16th Netflix will send out apology letters for streaming CW shows.


"Delocated" to get even funnier - Janeane Garofalo has signed on with the cast of the Adult Swim live action comedy "Delocated" for the 2012 season. I've always had sort of a nerd crush on Janeane Garofalo, I can't explain why and it's not something I am particularly proud of and I'm not quite sure why I'm telling you about it. I just feel very vulnerable right now and I don't think I should be alone tonight.


Get ready for a Two and a Half Men spinoff - CBS, the New York Yankees of network television, posted a record 20 of the 30 top shows among broadcast networks from September 19th to October 9th. Assisting this incredibly depressing statistic was "NCIS" and "NCIS:LA" this tuesday with 18.7 million and 15.4 million viewers respectively. What the F people? It's the same damn show in a different city. Seriously?

Sorry to end this on such a downer but I've been cleaning, defragging, and anti virusing my computer all damn day and its crashed 6 times already. Suuuuper.

We are this much closer people

Apparently the people at The New Yorker, more commonly known as the magazine with the comics that not even people who subscribe to The New Yorker can understand, are hosting some type of festival. Now normally this would hardly be news worthy of such a prestigious site as this but check out this quote:

On Sunday, October 2nd, Nancy Franklin will moderate an exclusive “Bluth family reunion” panel, featuring the creator of “Arrested Development,” Mitchell Hurwitz, and the cast: Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, Michael Cera, David Cross, Portia de Rossi, Tony Hale, Alia Shawkat, Jeffrey Tambor, and Jessica Walter. The New Yorker

Yea, the entire cast under one roof answering questions about Arrested Development. Well, I say questions but it'll probably just be 400 variations on "When can we expect an Arrested Development movie?". Because seriously, when can we expect an Arrested Development movie?

It's been a little over 5 years since the smartest and most well written television show was so cruelly ripped from our lives and to this day I can't look at a segway or a frozen banana without getting a little misty. And don't even get me started on the way I feel when I see a skinny bald man with glasses wearing tight cut off jean shorts...

Weekly Dose of Hatred

We've known each other for quite some time now and I feel like I should share something with you. I have a hatred problem. There are so many things in this crazy mixed up world that are worthy of my unique brand of hatred. For instance: People who sit on the same side of the booth at a restaurant when it's just the two of them, people who use the word 'Supposably', or anyone that starts a sentence with 'Last night I was watching MTV...' All of these things have special places carved out for them in hell but this next thing has its own floor reserved.

I hate Direct TV.

I get the irony of that statement. I run a world renowned television blog yet I hate the biggest television provider on the market. Allow me to explain.

I despise Deion Sanders. I hated him when he was an overrated arrogant high stepping asshole that played on every single one of the world's worst teams. I hate seeing him on NFL Network giving insightful commentary such as "He has got to catch that ball Rich." No shit Deion? He's a receiver. Until recently I could still avoid seeing him on television... Until recently. I'm sure you've seen the advertising campaign Direct TV has unleashed on an unsuspecting viewing audience. Now I have to watch Deion flutter around my television with a pair of fairy wings talking about NFL Sunday Ticket. All I need now is Michael Irvin in an angel costume talking about how Direct TVs DVR features are 'Oh so heavenly'.

Now don't get me wrong, I happen to like some of the things Direct TV has done in the past. The Russian opulence guy? Genius. But what do they do? They replace him with Dat Phan. If you don't remember Dat Phan allow me to refresh your memory. He won the first season of Last Comic Standing, beating out one of the funniest comics I have ever had the pleasure of seeing live Ralphie May, by telling 4,000 jokes about how funny his mother talks. Seriously every joke he told had the same underlying theme, his mother talks funny because of her race. He's like a low budget version of Chris Rock. NBC gave him a half hour stand up special after winning the show and no one had seen him since, until now.

Ever flip through the Direct TV guide trying to find something interesting to watch? Have you ever read some of the channel summaries? I don't know what hamfisted assclown is in charge of writing these for Direct TV but they should be drug out into the street and forced to read every single one of the hack job summaries they have ever written, while being run over by cars. I saw an episode of Degrassi the other day and the summary was 'Consequences'. That's all there was, one freaking word. And I saw the information for an episode of Scrubs that said 'Zach and Donald put off a yearly tradition to spend time with their patient.' Seriously? How effing slow do you have to be to realize that Zach and Donald are the actors that play JD and Turk?

Direct TV is also responsible for 70% of the frustration I suffer while writing this award winning internationally renowned blog. The internet provider Direct TV uses doesn't provide service in the Mayberry-like town I live in, so I am forced to use Comcast. (That's a whole other WDoH) And don't even get me started on how a single cloud forces me to miss the season finale of Doctor Who. You are the world's largest satellite television provider and you can't fix the fact that a thin layer of cloud cover causes your system to crash harder than the porn illegally downloaded music prayer filled computer I use to publish this blog.

Charlie Day FTMFW.

I've got good news and bad news...


Good news is I've got about 5 solid minutes of Charlie Day from Its Always Sunny dancing.


Bad news is your mom and I are getting separated.

Charlie Shows His Dance Moves - watch more funny videos

A little dose of fanboy love

I don't want anyone to get the idea that this blog is all about hate. It isn't. That's just one of its many wonderful qualities.

According to a few very reputable TV news sites, including one of my favorites Warming Glow the next season of NBCs Community will include multi story arcs featuring Omar from HBOs The Wire, which as far as I'm concerned is one of the only cop dramas to do it well and everyone's favorite gun wielding converted Jewish bowler John Goodman.

*excited fanboy squeal*

Normally the only time a show floods its already established cast of characters with easily recognizable names is when things have begun to go downhill.
'Next, an all new The Simpsons featuring...Rush Limbaugh!' Ugh.
But the people that brought us the Goodfellas episode, the Dungeons and Dragons episode, and not one but two epic paintball episodes will only hit this out of the ballpark. Besides Betty White's guest starring role as the Anthro professor was really well done.

I should probably take a step back here because if I'm not careful this can easily turn into a blog all about Community then it's just a short drive to becoming an Alison Brie fansite and that is clearly in violation of the terms of the restraining order.