Awards shows are the worst

I try to do everything in my power to avoid talking, thinking, or hearing about television awards shows. My favorites rarely ever get nominated, let alone win and the 2012 People's Choice Awards were no exception. Prepare to be surprised...

Favorite Network TV Comedy:
The Big Bang Theory, Glee, How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, and Two and a Half Men.

While I appreciate the inclusion of "Modern Family", the rest of the field is an atrocious mix of kids singing A Capella, smarmy douches, and laugh tracks. Don't even get me started on the fact that "How I Met Your Mother" beat out everyone else. Those idiot kids have been sitting there listening to Bob Saget tell a story for seven seasons now.

Favorite TV Comedy Actor:
Alec Baldwin, Chris Colfer, Cory Monteith, Jim Parsons, and Neil Patrick Harris.

I had to look up the two kids from "Glee" to find out who the hell they were. Who are these 'people' choosing these awards and have any of them ever heard of Nick Offerman? Holy crap people, this category should read Nick Offerman, Nick Offerman, Nick Offerman, Alec Baldwin, and Donald Glover. Oh and NPH picked up the win here.

Favorite TV Comedy Actress:
Courtney Cox, Jane Lynch, Kaley Cuoco, Lea Michele, and Tina Fey.

Once again, no mention of "Parks and Recreation" or the amazing work that Alison Brie did on a little show called "Community", coming back this spring. I don't know what upsets me more, Courtney Cox getting a nomination for "Cougar Town" or Tina Fey getting snubbed in favor of Lea Michele.

Favorite Cable TV Comedy:
Hot in Cleveland, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, And some others

The rest of the field is completely irrelevant. The big story here is that somehow "Hot in Cleveland" beat out "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" for best cable tv comedy. I have no words.

I couldn't agree more Ron.

This week in TV news: Friday Edition

Ever been at a party and everyone's talking about books or some other nerdy topic? Doesn't that just make you want to bash some nerds? Well, I'm not telling you to resist that urge, I'm merely giving you some far more interesting things of your own to talk about. Maybe those book nerds will finally quit giving you such condescending looks... If a GED wasn't good enough they wouldn't offer it as a high school diploma substitution, asshole.



MTV's New Year's Eve celebration to feature famous people? - I can neither confirm nor deny this rumor because even though MTV has released a list of celebrities that will be appearing at its New Year's Eve bash, I have no earthly idea who any of these people are.
Mac J. Miller, J. Cole, Tyler Posey, Vanessa Marano, and Katie Leclerc.
Either I'm incredibly old or the bar for fame in this country has been set far too low.
*accidentally reads article about Lindsey Lohan*
Ok, its B.


See you next season, Ronald McDonald - The latest season of "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia" ended last night and I would like to go on record as saying this was probably the best season thus far. This season alone we got to meet Fat Mac, see two homeless dudes banging under the Boardwalk, we learned how to play Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games, I live blogged the season premiere, and finally after years of doubt and mystery we learned Mac's real name. Also am I the only one that loves the crap out of the jet black skullet that Danny DeVito is sporting this season? Sunny continues to be one of the best comedies on television and the flagship of a brilliant FX lineup.


NBC agrees to produce more crap - In a move that makes me want to cut myself NBC has signed on for a full season of "Whitney". They're also going to subject us to a show based on/written by comedienne Chelsea Handler. Troy and Abed are unemployed because of this shit? Seriously?


Golden Globe Nominations are out - What's that you say? No "Community"? No "Parks and Recreation"? No "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia" or "the League"? Not even "Happy Endings"?
At least Ron Swanson got a nomination this year, right? You've got to be kidding me...

You tell 'em Ron.

Friday Laziness

Oh Charlie... You'll never leave me, right?

I know, I've used this image before. Anyone got a problem with that?



This video starts out slow but hang in there....it's worth it.


Enjoy your weekend!

Blogging without a net.

Here we go! Live blogging the premier of Sunny...

10:04 - Holy shit. Is that the chick from Beakman's World???

10:05 - What the hell is going on with Frank's hair?

Aaaaand commercial.
Update: According to IMDB, yes Frank's hooker is the Josie from Beakman's World. Also Beakman's World was streets ahead of Bill Nye.

10:07 - Were back!

10:08 - I had the biggest crush on Josie from Beakman's World growing up. That's all done now.

10:08 - FAT MAC!!!

10:11 - Fat Mac is officially a success.

10:13 - Commercial time, go get a snack.

Every time I see this damn Sonic commercial with the hillbilly music, I want one of those hotdogs. That had nothing to do with Sunny, I just thought you should know.

10:16 - Here we go.

10:18 - I cannot express how much I love Fat Mac. Also the fact that he pronounces Diabetes like Wilfred Brimley...Gold.

10:21 - Wildcard Bitches!

10:23 - Ok so this scene is sort of funny. Charlie mispronouncing words and Frank talking about finding eggs and crabs...HOLY SHIT!! IS THAT BLOOD??? "I have a touch of consumption" and "Poisoned by my constituents" I love Charlie.

10:24 - Time to pay some bills. Am I the only one super excited about the new season of the League? Also, if I ever catch the son of a bitch that threw acid on Anna Faris... I swear on everything holy.
Taco Bell commercial. That guy, flipping knives and chicken and stuff. I totes know him. His name is Phil Wills and I used to work with him. He's actually a really cool guy so if he's reading this and has, I don't know, any free taco coupons laying around... Ok Back to the show.

10:27 - Oh. My. God. They brought back Alvin Thibodeaux! And they called back to the Philadelphia Eagle tryout episode where they tried to pass him off as Donavan McNabb. I love this show.

10:29 - Fat Mac carries garbage bags of chimichangas, injects himself with insulin while he is eating, spills salsa on his shirt... Every actor should gain 50 pounds.

10:30 - If anyone is reading this, I want a Tommy Bahama shirt.

10:31 - Most romantic proposal ever.

10:32 - These people are the most despicable bunch of assdicks I have ever seen. But I would not hesitate to hang out with them if given the chance. Aaaaand Pretty Woman to end the episode. Brilliant.

I can only hope this is the caliber of story we can expect from the new season of Sunny. This concludes my first foray into the world of live blogging. Most TV sites live blog things like the Emmys but I really don't care about the Emmys. No one I like ever wins. So let me know if you liked this or not, either way I'll probably do it again when Community premieres next week.

Is it September yet?

I don't really have a post to go along with this picture but I've been sitting on it for a while now and I feel like it's something the people need to see. It's like the perfect storm of awkwardness. Mac's eyes are closed, who the hell knows what Dee is looking at, Frank is so creepy I literally cannot look at him for more than a few seconds, Dennis looks far too excited to be wearing a yellow polo buttoned up to his chin, and Charlie is holding a cat wearing...wait for it... Kitton Mittons.

When you combine this picture with the Hallmark-esque promos FX has been running for the newest season of Its Always Sunny it screams television done correctly. Sunny is one of the most watched shows on a network full of quality original programming, yet it refuses to get stale or take itself too seriously.

With the exception of Charlie being in a couple of movies this year the cast doesn't seem like they are using the show as a platform to be mediocre on the silver screen, I'm looking at you Matt LeBlanc. They genuinely seem to love doing Sunny and are dedicated to making it better season after season.

Charlie Day FTMFW.

I've got good news and bad news...


Good news is I've got about 5 solid minutes of Charlie Day from Its Always Sunny dancing.


Bad news is your mom and I are getting separated.

Charlie Shows His Dance Moves - watch more funny videos

Oh Happy Days! (Not the old sitcom)

So it's been a while since I updated the site and I have a very good reason.
Comcast Internet is the Lindsey Lohan of internet providers. Get it? It's funny because Comcast is slow, useless, and doesn't work. It's also addicted to cocaine and sex with random dudes. (Allegedly)

So for my first post back I want to share some wonderful news with everyone:

Wait for it...

FX, singlehandedly renewing my faith in humanity one season at a time, has decided to sign on for two more seasons of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a third season of Louie, and a second season of Wilfred.

Now for those of you interested in how CBS will address the firing of Charlie Sheen on the season premiere of Two and a Half Men, listen up. Its Always Sunny, since being renewed for two more seasons, is guaranteed to be the longest running cable sitcom in history. It is the godfather of the brilliant comedy package that FX does so well. Wilfred, a remake of an Australian comedy, is probably the darkest most original comedy show on television. Its also the only good thing to come out of Australia since...I'll have to get back to you on that one. Louie continues to be an absolutely brilliant and smart comedy.

Pay attention people. This is how comedy is done. There are no laugh tracks, no cheap gags, just good writing and impeccable delivery by a brilliant cast. Also lots and lots of wine in a can.

The only way I could be more excited about this would be if they renew Archer and find the Fountain of Youth for Timothy Olyphant and Walt Goggins so that Justified can be on the air forever!

Brilliance thy name is Fat Mac

The feedback has been pouring in since I started this site. People stop me at work and tell me about it, people come up to me in the grocery store and want to talk about the site, its been crazy so far. Allow me to share some of it with you:

I started reading your blog and had to stop. It's so negative!
Why is there so much hate?
You are far too muscular. You should really take it easy in the gym.

So, in the spirit of pandering to the people that click my link and visit this site, here is a little bit of love.

Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia has ever since its inception been one of my favorite shows on television. I watch the reruns on Comedy Central, I watch the reruns on FX, I squeal and giggle like an anime Japanese schoolgirl when the new season starts... I have yet to find an unfunny part of the show.

Rob McElhenney, one of the show's creators, plays Mac a guy who is almost never seen without a sleeveless shirt. He is constantly doing karate in inappropriate places; he's just one of those guys who likes to work out. So it only made sense that in preparation for season 7 he would gain fifty pounds... Wait, what?
Rob McElhenney gained fifty pounds for the newest season of Its Always Sunny just because he thought it would be funny to play a fat guy.

Let's let that sink in... A television star became overweight because he thought it would add to his comedic value.
Thank you Rob McElhenney. Thank you for your courage and bravery. And thank you for the following video.