I hate the Kardashians.
I hate every last one of these self promoting, spoiled, annoying, rich bitches but for the purpose of this post I'm only going to highlight a couple of them.
#1. Kim. Allow me to run down Kim Kardashian's resume. Ahem...
'Got pissed on by Ray J, little brother to R&B singer/hit and run murderer Brandy.' You just can't buy a stronger start than that. Our introduction to Kimberly Noel Kardashian was paying to download a shaky handicam video of her getting a golden shower from the star of VH1's For the Love of Ray J. I'm not entirely sure which came first, the urine or the television show, mainly because I really don't want to do any real research on this family but I like to imagine that some network exec at E! was surfing the web and found her sex tape and immediately wrote up a pilot for Keeping up with the Kardashians.
#2. Khloe. How is this prehistoric creature even famous? She doesn't sing, she doesn't act, she could barely defeat Mothra. See what I did there? She's gargantuan so I compared her to Godzilla. But seriously, from the eyes down she looks like the kid from that Cher movie, Mask.
#3. Bruce Jenner. Could be worse. At least he didn't end up like those two Reebok guys, Dan and Dave. Yea, that's right. Decathalon Summer Olympic reference from the 90's. NBD.
Where the hell is Dan and Dave?!
ReplyDeleteI walked by the tv today and Rachel Ray was on and Kardashian was her guest. It made me wonder if women care that that's how she got her start. It's common knowledge right? She released a sex tape after her friend had good success with hers? And she got pissed on in said tape? That's ok? Good enough to want to watch her family in a reality TV setting? Do they address the sex tape in the show? Do they at least show her collection of rubber sheets? This shit mystifies me. Nice job, women. You're complicit in making me have to scramble for the remote just so I don't get any sudden urges to take a leak on 2 giant pressed hams.