Astute readers will no doubt have noticed that the Weekly Dose of Hatred has been decidedly less weekly than I originally intended. I'm kidding of course, Blog Name TBA doesn't have astute readers.
I hate Mixed Martial Arts.
For those of you lucky enough to have been spared painful introduction to the bro-iest of sports, allow me to explain. Mixed Martial Arts, or MMA if you're douchey, is a rapidly growing sport wherein two men who have obvious issues with the sizes of their penises are dropped into a six sided cage and instructed to beat the shit out of each other in order to sell Mountain Dew. It's the more violent, less rigged, just as stupid version of boxing and now the networks are starting to jump on the testosterone fueled bandwagon. Fox, embarrassing parent of my beloved Fx, recently signed a contract with the UFC to televise some of their matches which until now were mercifully hidden on pay-per-view. I've also been told that there is some sort of reality television show where hopeful meatheads with no discernible social skills live in a house and fight to see who gets to win a contract with the UFC. Unfortunately I don't own enough Axe body spray to watch Spike TV, so I cannot confirm or deny whether this show actually exists.
And of course mixed martial arts is not without their own disgusting fanbase that mainly consists of either roided out frat boys or overweight overcompensating assholes. They are easily identified by their blindingly sparkling attire manufactured by either douchebag magnate Ed Hardy or the equally cretinous Tapout. They travel in packs, pockets full of Rohypnol, and flock to whatever establishment is currently showing the big fight and selling Redbull.
Fans of mixed martial arts are the AT&T of people.
Each and every one of these date raping frat boy assholes should be tossed into a six sided cage and forced to fight to the death over the last can of Four Loko. That would be a fight I might actually watch, then again CBS would probably buy the rights to it and lay a laugh track over it, so maybe not.
